Welcome once again to the Love Clinic.
Today I want to talk to you as a friend, a brother in Christ and I want you to understand a phenomenon in this Christian walk and love life that maybe you have been missing all this while.
I want to tell you that there are some things that God will never do for you. Yes, God can do all things but won’t do all things.
I want to tell you that prayer is the master key but God made some doors to be without keyholes. You just need to push those doors open with your own strength.
Don’t get me wrong. We need God’s guidance in all that we do. Yes, guidance. He will guide you on how to do it but He won’t do it for you. The popular phrase “God helps those who help themselves” is very true though it’s not in the Bible.
Jesus Christ even in most of the miracles He performed emphasized the need for human effort. Before He turned water into wine, He asked them to fill the pots with water. You think He couldn’t just command wine into the empty pots like that? C’mon, He is the omnipotent God. After He rubbed the sand on the eyes of the blind man He asked him to go and wash it off. Just analyze these few instances carefully and you will realize that God wanted to put a message across.
Most singles are consoling themselves with “God’s time is the best” when in actual fact God’s time in their lives is long overdue and they are just failing to play their part. In Proverbs 18:22, it is written that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God”. So it means God will not parcel your life partner and place her at your doorstep. Borsu, you need to work! You need to find. Today I want to hit on six things that we should seek to develop so that our love lives will get better. These are things that no amount of prayer can do for you.
This is the element that binds relationships together. If a relationship will thrive then both parties must learn how to communicate effectively and efficiently. Personally, I’m not really good at this. In actual fact, I’m a very shy person and I’m still working on it. Previously, I had problems even striking a conversation with members of the opposite sex. I then learnt how to compliment them and it served as a good icebreaker.
No matter how introvert you are please learn how to communicate. It is very important. Most guys are single because they don’t know how to approach a lady. Please the plenty prayers won’t bring her to you. Learn how to communicate. Most ladies are losing their husbands because they don’t know how to engage them in lively conversations. Please learn.
You need to develop some skills. I know this for a fact that people with a wide range of skills are very attractive. Just imagine a guy who is a banker and can play musical instruments, can fix electrical appliances, can cook, can make beautiful beads, is a computer wizard… I mean you can’t help but fall in love with him.
Learning a vocation aside your profession even gives you a lifeline to sustain your family in case you fail in your chosen profession (God forbid though). This you can’t receive by the laying on of hands or 40 days and 50 nights fasting at Atwea Mountains. So please find some time and learn how to do something with your hands. It helps.
Some people’s character is not not not and this has caused them to lose people they dearly love. Akans have a saying that “your beauty will send you into marriage, but your character will bring you back home”. People with bad character usually pride themselves with “love me as I am/ for who I am”. I personally have a problem with that ideology. There are some things about a person that you cannot change. For instance, I’m a Guan, I’m slender and tall, I can’t do anything about that. But as for your character, sister, brother, please work on it. Your attitude, your temperament, your manners, eating habit, decency, humility, respect for the opposite sex, how you relate with people, please work on it because prayer cannot change it for you.
Try and keep up with the current trend. Know what’s up. Shun the archaic way of doing things. In this age, you are still writing love letters. Is everything ok with you? You are a lady and the sleeves of your kaba are always “puff” like that of the 80’s and you expect people to find you attractive. Please I’m not saying you should dress like the worldly people and expose sensitive parts of your body, NO! You can be decent and trendy. Be up-to-date with what is happening in the world.
Be romantic. For this I can’t really state any examples because what is romantic to one person might not be romantic for the other. You can know ways of expressing love by understanding the love language of your partner. The five love languages are gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. For more on these you can get Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” and read. However I know one way of being romantic is being unpredictable, ensuring variety in all that you do. One way of doing things is quite boring and somehow annoying.
This speaks for all the points I’ve already listed because I can’t exhaust all the points but learn. You need to read wide to understand the opposite sex. Before I started the love clinic I knew the Holy Spirit is our teacher and He teaches us all things and all that but I also knew the Bible says we should study to show ourselves approved unto God.
For this reason, I joined 2 e-book sharing whatsapp groups and downloaded several e-books on love and relationships and started reading them. Though I’m not done reading all of them but I know my understanding of these matters have improved. There are some things that the Holy Spirit won’t teach you. You have to learn.
My boss says I shouldn’t write long essays for you so I will end here. Maybe we will go deeper some other time. In the meantime, ponder over these things. I know you already know them but one day or day one, you decide.
God bless us all