We humbly welcome you to another episode on the Love Clinic. We hope you liked last week’s article.
This week we share our first experience from a brother. It is very deep and interesting.
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Now be blessed by today’s episode
On this edition of Love Clinic, I desire to provoke you to a holy relationship. The focus of this discussion would be on sexual sins and how to deal with them as Christians. I would spice the conversation with glimpses of personal life experiences to make it relatable.
That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. AMP.
One thing Christians must understand is that God’s standards are not negotiable. Neither are they up for debates or awaiting the verdict of a jury. There’s no room for compromise or laxity.
Contrary to this, we often witness a lot of indifference in the church. The scripture above speaks to this very fact. God seeks a spotless, faultless and holy bride.
Growing up was quite a quiet transition. With my childish naivety coupled with the scornful eyes of strict parents, my interests were streamlined towards academics. I didn’t indulge much apart from a few crushes I willingly didn’t pursue.
The pressure for the opposite sex started mounting in Senior High School. Even though I didn’t care for the sexual habits some of my friends used to share, some part of me had conformed without my permission.
My first encounter in sexual sin was during one of the vacations. It took just a few flattering words from the usual platitudes “You are a nice boy” to “You are very cute”. Soon, my guard was down and I found myself indulging. It is not always that males do the convincing. Both parties are culprits. This is the reason why I was so keen on compromising in relationships in my previous paragraphs.
I believe a lot of these sexual sins begin with a little compromise on either party. The Bible says in Proverbs 4:23
“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life”.
The truth is that the moment you start compromising on your Christian faith and virtues in a relationship, the devil begins to take advantage. Funny enough, it starts with the little things. A little peck on the first date leading to an actual kiss, light petting, heavy petting. Then sooner or later, you almost always cannot have a normal conversation without unhealthy repercussions.
As adolescents with surging hormones, there is always that attraction to the opposite sex. The Ghanaian locals colloquialize it as “body no be firewood”. However, as Christians and children of the most High, there’s a way to handle these urges.
Firstly, you must exercise self-control because it is a fruit of the recreated human spirit. Note I didn’t say pray for self-control but exercise it. Discipline yourself to do it. I fail to comprehend those who make statements like “It just happened” or “I couldn’t control myself”. Saying this makes God a liar which is an impossibility! God has given us the power to control our emotions and not the converse. We are no longer slaves to our passions but to the spirit of God.
Secondly, I am of the firm view that there should be boundaries in a relationship. There should be principles both parties are willing to uphold no matter what even if it takes breaking up from the relationship. These principles should define your relationship. As soon as you start overlooking them, there is disaster.
You sometimes hear stories of ladies trying to coax their boyfriends into staying in a relationship because he threatened to leave if she was still insistent on not having sex before marriage. The truth is he was not in your life at all. He was just a camouflage waiting for the right moment to prey. Sex cannot keep any man because it is not enough. The only thing that does is a man that wants to be kept. It only takes the fear of God in a guy to respect your virtues. Set principles and maintain them no matter the cost. Respect the deep significance of physical intimacy.
Last point but equally as vital as the preceding ones is that individuals in a relationship should learn to value themselves the same way God does. The scripture in 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 says, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? 17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple”. NIV
Our bodies are worth so much to Christ that he chose to make His dwelling in us. The Bible also says he bought us with His blood because money was not enough. This is the value God places on your body.
Don’t let someone underprice you with sweet talks and empty promises. Learn to place the same value on yourself as God does.
I hope you’ve been blessed by these few words.
May purity and Holiness reign in your life as a chosen vessel of God.
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