One of the decisions that will have a very significant impact on the life of any individual is the choice of a life partner. The person you chose to walk this life’s journey with can make or unmake you. There is a ceaseless debate however, as to the best place to find a life partner. Most Christians will be in favour of the stance that the church should be the number one place to conduct the search for a lifetime companion but the incomplete understanding of this ideology has caused the ruination of many relationships.
First and foremost, let the church be church. The church is a place where we as Christians come to worship and have fellowship with our father. In recent times, people are trooping into our churches with a different motive – to find love. Due to this we miss the divine package that God himself specially prepares for us whenever we have fellowship with him.
The deal is to go for God and all other things will fall into their proper place.
But If you didn’t go to meet him, then you shouldn’t expect to receive anything from him either. Going to church just to meet and adore that curvy praise and worship leader or covet that muscular keyboardist yields no spiritual benefits.
Moreover, not everyone in the church is a Christian. Contemporary gospel artiste, Slykid, said in his single, Halleluyah, that “the church is a clinic for sinners and not a club for saints.” Many people are in the church seeking healing from their addictions and deliverance from their oppressions. Quite a large number of church goers are not matured Christians.
I recall my encounter with a lady who met this guy in church and they started dating . The guy broke her virginity and used her for nothing more than an object for sexual relief. I also know a very beautiful, humble and dedicated usher in one of the top denominations on campus who freely offered herself to one of my friends to sleep with her. These are a few examples of people you might end up dating if you just go to church to find love. Some of these people you meet can cause a retrogression in your Christian life, what I call cursed blessings.
I always say that it is an error to seek to date someone so that the person will help you become a mature Christian or vice versa. As an individual, it is your duty to build yourself up to the nature and stature of Christ before entering into any relationship whatsoever. As we focus on God and seek to become more like His son, at the right time, He makes available unto us anything we might need, life partners inclusive. This the Bible clearly states in Matthew 6:33. A relationship with both parties or even one party deficient of the Christ-standard is bound to be plagued with problems.
Finally, dating a Christian does not ensure the sustainability of relationships nor alienate you from sexual sins. These are all goals that both parties must work towards. It will not come serendipitously. We are humans who possess a body which is constantly craving for the desires of the flesh. It is advised that the two people should agree on a set of principles and guidelines to guide and guard their relationship before they start going out.
These principles of do’s and don’ts are very necessary in ensuring a sustainable relationship. No matter how spiritual you are, you can still fall to sexual sins. It takes a conscious effort and adequate preparation to avoid that. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
I would like to end by stating emphatically that it is not wrong for two people in the church to date. Neither is it wrong to seek a life partner in church. Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be your main aim for going to church. You just have to pray and be led because merely choosing anybody in the church does not assure you of anything.